April 17,2025

I have not written much or surfaced on radar since last years ordeal in the hospital…I had mentioned way back that I would/needed to capture and share the experience in the hospital fighting for my Life. It was sacred and doorways to worlds I have frequently traveled my lifetime opened in deeper ways. doors I don’t usually share.

Some of my sharing later in this rant may even stab some of you like daggers in the heart, can’t say I will apologize as I know my Truth, but you know me well enough if you are ripped from my words- I still care about you, our connection and story and experiences.

I honor and know that I journey with the right People in my Life, those that lift my Spirit, and others fade away not serving my story. Doesn’t mean I don’t care, wish you well on your path, I just honor my truth. We can live in harmony as humans with common goals for our children, planet, and communities, doesn’t mean we have to journey together in the same vessel.

Since last summer I have kept to myself, I have kept silent on the affairs of the world. I am

treading water next to the side of the very sailing canoe that brought me back from my journey to the other side and severing the ties with an infection that almost killed me. I haven’t had the strength to pull myself back in and set a course. Working on it slowly…

A few daily mantras and activities have saved my life and spirit however, or at least helped me sustain any sense of normal.

Actually, some of the healing success shifted 2 months ago when the wind spilled out of my sails again. I had just come off a weekend Fire Training conference and I went on duty that Monday night. I layed in bed and felt restless and uncomfortable which surprisingly led to an AFib episode with my heart. It seemed uneventful other than I had to Go to the ER and get my heart rhythm shocked into normal. I lay in hospital bed, looking at my Wife who showed up, I think the boys don’t even remember at this point, and I was drowning inside emotionally. Reliving the scariest moments of being hospitalized last summer.

I went in for tests, EKG/Cardio, a heart monitor for 2 weeks and all has seemed normal. My wife suggested she read the reports and everything seemed ok.

I actually haven’t heard from the cardiologist as of today so who knows. I suspect a once off event, perhaps severe dehydration from the weekend, maybe my heart suffering from reading too much news or posts silently witnessing how so stupid the world and People and mostly Leaders have become.

To sustain these overwhelming feelings, I quit coffee, no alcohol basically for about a year now not that it was ever a issue, a clean healthy diet, and with only failure from flu/cold I do hard cardio workout average 1 hour per day 7 days per week.

I shift a lot at the Fire Department which brings me huge satisfaction and stability and being with others dedicated to serving our Community. I’ve shed excess weight and it’s never felt better. I’m down to high school weight and I know with trimming sails some I’ll be ripped in no time. It’s a good feeling to have knocking at my door.

But, The truth is I often feel broken. A feeling of isolation, a feeling of floating, a loss of Me. Disconnection from all parts of myself that have helped me navigate and thrive in Life. This is exactly the opposite of who I have been most of my Journey.

I’m going to share here and then I’m going to Vanish, I will no longer be frequenting Facebook, it literally disgusts me. Plays a part in not healing my heart. I will maintain the SSVS page for canoe program affairs and presence only because our small Island Community unfortunately Cannot think of a better collective platform to share ideas/projects etc. It has its purposes locally so I can’t fight it.

PTSD- Navigating ones wounds

PTSD is a real fucking raw thing…No one ever knows or could possibly, unless you have walked in its shoes. Nothing is just that easy. I mostly share because it is not lost on me the absolute power of prayer. All of you that held me and my Family, I honor your Prayers with my words, good or bad or raw. Your prayers weren’t for Nothing and I still feel them.

Some will say, but you lived and were given another chance! You have a beautiful wife and kids! You fought so hard and overcame huge obstacles! It was a miracle! Your recovery has been inspiring and miraculous!

I’m aware of these realities, I however, haven’t been able to drink them in since coming home last September.

The Hospital Journey-

This is the tough stuff, the juicy stuff, the deeply profound and deeply personal spiritual stuff. Hard enough to talk about as my path feels so lonely at times, what I have been shown, what I have experienced for decades…

Why I go to and spend time/learn from with wisdom holders and Indigenous Elders. I am heard. I am understood. I am seen.

Those that know the deeper parts of my skill sets, I have been a Tracker, for geez most of my Life, something I was born with. The actual skill sets developed in time with teachers and mentors over the years. Tracking goes beyond the realms of physical, like tracking the wind or the stars or the currents or a subtle animal track in the dirt….

I was tracking a silent energetic storm system for a decade or more in my minds eye, its presence subtlety felt far off in horizon…looming, no name, not overwhelming scary or threatening, just something that I knew was coming for me.

I knew that potential death/my infection was coming to visit….I had felt it for years.

It arrived in the form of a Fever last August, the classic Covid headache. My wife said you have a tiny rash on your leg. I blew her off as I was miserably achy, a high fever, and hopped on ferry home canceling a weekend event.

By Sunday night my Fever broke. All Covid tests negative. By Monday, my intuitions started kicking in and I heard a voice inside me clear “Systemic Infection”

I called my 911 family, walked myself straight into the Ambulance, looked at Margaret and said hook me up….

I got to the ER, familiar faces, Doc Perez got a round of antibiotics in me and said “you’re sick” and we will get you out of here asap…

I got to St Joe’s. I oddly felt at ease being evacuated in the Chopper. My mind wandered to so many heli missions up Mauka on O’ahu with my field team to check on plants, to build a fence etc I heard Kahuli snails singing to me while I was enroute to the Hospital. I felt comfortable and held by the land of Hawai'i, I also felt scared, I felt at peace, and I felt Alone. My mind constantly on my Wife and Kids. I knew they couldn’t come in Heli. In this moment I actually don’t even remember if my Wife came on Heli or when she arrived to St Joes….

The intake at St Joe’s ER, a kind nurse and a bunch of doctors…My leg was getting worse, the infection spreading, hearing murmurs of acute kidney failing, blah blah blah….I thought I was going to die briefly in ER intake and the thought crushed my Soul. Loneliness. My family still islands away.

The Underworld

I remember a darkness and Industrial feel to my first room at St Joes…Tucked away in a corner with venting ducts coming out of walls like a centipede crawling along the ceiling. I felt held by wonderful Nurses but the “Party” started. I don’t remember when my Wife arrived. The next morning?

The leg full of fluid, swollen, red…

I was in no pain, I was never in Pain. They kept asking me if anything hurt. My leg, 15 days in hospital never held pain.

The pain I held in my heart and used to navigate my Journey.

In the underworld room as I called it- Two women came to me almost right away. I was scared and lonely and calling on someone to comfort me. It was the first moment in which I felt that I was approaching a doorway to Death. The Veil opened to other realms not of this plane…I’ve traveled them before, but these were further, deeper, more ancient…

My first angel- Channa Bliner-Smith, Canoe Journey Herbalist/Mother/Healer/. I have this story from last years Gathering of Eagles, first night camped on Spencer Spit on Lopez Island. I had stayed up late drinking ‘awa with Ua, Jazz, Anela and Whaia and Moana there at campfire for awhile and a few others playing music. I fell asleep in my mummy bag on a picnic table…About 3am the ‘awa kicked in…

My mummy bag zipper stuck. I frantically began the pee dance. Zipper stuck, rolled off picnic table, thump, whew finally and moving towards next layers, damn!! Fleece pant zipper stuck, board shorts knot a total disaster….At least my sleeping bag was spared….

Laughing at myself and misery I pulled a chair up to fire, wrapped a Pareo and started drying out my wet clothes….after some time out corner of my eye someone had joined me at Fire. She was silent and quiet and serene and a Ninja outta no where. I met my new friend Channa, told her the story of why I was up late, had a good laugh over my mishap and enjoyed each others company at Fire until first Sunrise across our sacred canoes at Spencer Spit. It was a beautiful night, an even more beautiful morning…

In the underworld, that first angels face appeared in my minds eye so clear, I felt more held than anything. I felt power and medicine around me. I look forward to seeing Channa and hugging her this May at at our Journey. She brought me the first tides of hope and medicine and prayer in the hospital. I’m not sure why it was her, perhaps our families traveled together in past lives, I just feel honored and blessed that I Live to thank her this May…

My Grandmother Marian came next. From a place of light. I wasn’t Completely sure if she was coming to bring me home to my ancestors, but she held my Face softly and tenderly and firmly and said quietly, “not yet Matthew” I still wasn’t confident about what Door I was to enter but after those 2 women appeared, my entire Being in hospital shifted…I could feel it like a surging tide, like the wind, like a wave from point of origin to peacefully washing across the sand after impact….i felt a peace and love deep inside that I have never known. I felt this sense that a few things were happening…that I was surrounded by Love and that by accepting this energy as the only Source that I was allowing myself to put myself into a sort of spiritual torpor or state of heightened navigation to make the upcoming journey to fight for my Life…. But I had a sense of no urgency, no dire fight inside of me, no burdens or anxieties, I was simply ready to exist in navigating towards Life or Death with grace and love and humble spirit…

But I sensed and knew without a doubt I was in a navigators seat….

Some of the days and moments become blended in the hospital but I recall my Wife’s desperation and pleas and absolute recognition that she may be losing me. I remember sharing that I all I felt was Love, and it was OK, that I was ready to die, that I loved her and our story together more than anything one can ever ask for in a lifetime…

In this moment I can’t recall all I felt I just know that I was Held and if I were to journey to next life I was ready and good and the glimpse was something I welcomed….

Peace and serenity. All earthly burdens dissolved. The next great adventure and I had people to reconnect with that I loved dearly. I reviewed my amazing Life and was ready to slip away, in fact I almost welcomed it more than any other possibility….perhaps now there’s days where i still feel this and i try to reconcile guilt with this fleeting feeling.

And then my Children arrived to Hospital….

That was so hard. Especially with Finn, he and I are so close and he is so loving and sensitive. I don’t recall in this moment but I think I said goodbye to them in a sense of I may die and that I loved them. That I would watch over them. I pleaded with Finn to be there for his lil bro…They had to go back to Island and stay with family so Melissa could be with me. It hurt immensely but was necessary. It kills me to this day, reliving that feeling over and over. Watching them leave the hospital…

And then the underworld really started to kick in. The veil so thin I could reach thru and touch a star system….no pain killers, no pain, no fever, just access to otherworldly realms of the Gods and Ancestors….

The scary centipede room. First the deep and intricate visualizations started coming…

I would talk to a Nurse and converse but close my eyes and see things. Cartoons, shapes, shapeshifters, patterns in the land and deserts, shifting water, shifting tides, waves pulled by the moon and stars, creatures, dragons, lizards, whales, hummingbirds….so many things it’s hard to remember or describe in detail. But I could…

I remember closing my eyes in that room and being in Space. I’d see planets holding ancient structures. I recall in vivid detail colossal structures in Space shifting, stairways and corridors connecting and reconnecting and landscape terrains shifting and melting and reforming.

I recall zoomed in landscapes and my eyes seeing every little interaction on the Land. I could see tracks and prints of all creatures, I could see them when they couldn’t even be seen by the human eye, i could feel them…

Things in and out of focus and then back.

The structures in Space were ancient and long abandoned but I sensed my presence and witness to them allowed them to make their shifts, allowed their secrets to be revealed…puzzles, alchemy, they were alive with intelligence. Waters flowing thru aqueducts. Gravity and then none. Planets and lights and star systems moving and swirling….

And then the sounds came….

I had two distinct aural fields.i could hear the docs and nurses, I could have a normal conversation but what slowly came into my awareness was what I came to call my Journeys “soundtrack/loop” simultaneously Clear as day in my ears there was an aural field surrounding me and the first few instrumental measures I heard were “like a prayer” by Madonna…it looped continuously quietly in the background for weeks….

I’d sometimes ask my Wife or Nurse if music was playing….and then came Hawaiian chants, the sound of ancient Om chants, a few other popular hits from the 80s…not the words usually, just the melodies…loop loop loop…

And then I was able to control the visions to an extent…I would close my eyes and describe to my Wife exactly what I was seeing in real time. Completely coherent and in no pain, just dying or fighting or navigating or whatever I was doing…

And then the manipulation…hello green bird! land on that mountain and shift into a turquoise dragon and let it swoop me up on its back as I jump off the cliffs…

And it would happen….

And then the underworld grabbed me by my Soul like claws …and all I was shown was to prepare I feel to astral travel. I was doing something MORE than visualizing. I was traveling. The visions took the form of profound and deep cataleptic trances where my conscious awareness was in direct connection with traveling to other places and people’s conversations and affairs. Into other people’s lives, into the affairs of the world and government and conversations and sick and twisted deeds and there was nothing but extreme darkness and emptiness, a sinister shallowing of the human spirit. I could sense that People knew I was present and spying and absorbing and witnessing them. I was safe and they couldn’t access my realm but they knew I was there and I COULD feel being in those rooms with every ounce of my Being. (I have traveled like this a few times in past, more in beautiful ways than this experience) I was getting weaker and I recall every morning in that room I was tracking and monitoring my white cell counts. And then the Doc would make their round, and there would be little to no shift…

These experiences in the “Underworld” I believe were a few days well past day 2 where my white counts improved but then the next day they tripled and we knew I was fighting for my Life….

Anyways I recall in the underworld and after the astral traveling just focusing on my heart breath, breathing thru my heart, and I wanted nothing more than to sever ties with everything ugly and distorted that I was seeing and experiencing. I wanted nothing to do with those worlds….

I believe It was from the Underworld Room however that I was aware enough to make my First post to Facebook about my condition. I sent word to Phreddie Lane at Lummi asking for prayers from my canoe family. I saw a response fairly quick that prayer smoke was up in the Lummi nation, specific from my friends in House of Tears Carvers, Uncle Doug and Siamel’wit said Freddie. My tears came.

And this is when I had a sense of spirit being lifted in profound ways….i shifted, my spirit shifted and I had this deep and profound awareness that I was navigating and people I loved were by my side despite distance….i was embraced by my wife’s voice singing to me. I recall Maka’s voice. I recall Whaia’s voice whether it was music or voice message I don’t recall, their voices imbedding into my heart and giving me strength and hope. The tears flowed daily…

The Underworld, finally I burnt it to the ground, I closed my eyes and I dove off a cliff into crystal blue waters and I started searching for a canoe I recall…I escaped the Underworld room.

The next day or night or whenever I was moved to a Healing Room in the ICU.

Meeting with my Infection-

The day I was moved upstairs to the ICU after the Underworld experience closest to death, I bonded instantly with my nurse Carol from South Africa. She was a godsend. I recall chanting/singing Hawaiian songs, sharing my life with her, she was a rock. My wife started sleeping in my room every night after my best friend Scott and sis, Ivo, and dad/mom departed for a few days to help with the boys back at home.

And then my wife started sleeping by my side every night, playing guitar and singing for me. I would look forward to eating a popsicle with her, really the only thing that seemed refreshing or of value to my body…My kids came again for a visit and Finn would lay by my side and hold my hand or run his fingers thru my hair. I was so proud of him and his strength and resilience. My firefighter bros and a sis came to lift my spirits in huge ways…a smoothie was like juice from heaven, o man how they lifted me up…my sis and mom and dad/Ivo and brother Scott there daily for me lifting me up. Our friend Kristina my dear soul Sistah hopped in her car from Oakland and drove straight to us. She lifted me up with her presence.

Everyday I was surrounded by so much Love, in tears daily reading posts of prayers coming from all over world and my local community..My Hawaiian family calling me in hospital. The visions began to shift, the aural soundtrack still strong, the dreams and visions shifting to the elements of land and sea. I for first time was hearing directives and affirmations from the other side from wise grandmothers of why I was still needed on Earth…I am still not ready to bring those messages forth, I am still healing and not Whole. In time. They will be brought forth to my community as gifts to others.

I recall one night coming ashore from that swim searching for a canoe and I was in Scotland. I heard Hawaiian chants and I heard bagpipes and I saw my Great Grandfather from salt spring island again smiling at me beckoning me ashore..I saw other Elders in their tartans/Kilts

For the first time ever I was deeply interconnected to my Scottish roots as well…Lineages of warriors transferring their mana to me with this look like don’t forget who you are, don’t forget your power, don’t forget that you know what to do, don’t forget that you are needed. What a wild party that vision was!

I recall feeling like I was just fine laying in that hospital bed and I would stay there a fucking month or 3 of it meant my white cell count would improve and we would see positive change….

As I was vividly traveling thru the lands of Scotland and a giant rally of Islanders, people of the land sea and canoe, I walked away and deep into a dark forest…with a purpose. I left alone and unobserved, in tears of loss and sadness, of release from my wife and kids and family and all I held Dear. It was time to have a final discussion of great importance…

I walked with resolve and strength deeper and darker into the forest. I knew that quite possibly I would never return from this Journey, that it also signified my potential passing away from my Infection…I came to a small clearing, I drew a circle in the dirt, sat inside it, and beckoned, invited, chanted my Infection to come meet me in the Circle to Talk. No threats, no hatred, no agenda. A feeling of peace and melancholy and hope…

An attempt of ho’oponopono with my Infection of some sort…

I invited my Infection in dialogue.

My heart opened and I Spoke my truths…Someday I may share parts of this conversation, but it was Powerful, in the hospital I recall my body energies shifting, ebbing/flowing/trembling/shaking/ but also breathing in deep and out slow and feeling calm and peace. I felt a sense of Hope. I carried with me into that conversation my Voice but with the mana of my ancestors, the love for my Family, my Wife, My Kids, my planet….all present and witnessing the conversation, but not engaging or interjecting, just witnessing.

In real time because I noticed when I went into trance and when Nurses came for blood, I talked to my Infection in another realm and across space and time in that forest clearing for 6.5 hours….Not much else to do in a hospital but wait eh!?

The Thunder Beings Bring Hope

One particular day I recall asking Melissa if she had been in contact with Uncle John Stokes, our mentor/teacher From the Tracking Project. She had. Uncle had been praying old Mohawk prayers for me evidently. He was in dialogue with the ThunderBeings. Uncle has a strong and deep connection with the thunderbeings and Melissa can share other stories she witnessed. Uncle can also tell his own stories or you can ask. I feel so grateful and honored the power of the Elders and mentors I have In my life. It brings me to tears that I was raised to follow my own heart and honor my callings. I found magic because I trusted in my na’au and honored it. It brought me teachings and teachers.

I had sense that day of a turning point…I hoped but every morning after that 5am blood test and docs rounds by 9/10am I was determined to not give a fuck. Take a win even if it was point by point….I’d occupy that hospital bed til i healed.

That night after 2 grape popsicles, I drifted to Sea in my sleep…I was in a storm that was not unlike other storms in Hawai'i I navigated, it was nothing extraordinary, but at one point I recall a crack in the clouds and beautiful light….i was in shallow beautiful water in the middle of the Ocean. It was calm, I could see the moon and the constellation Hoku’ula one of my guiding stars…

Melissa’s grandfather John Jager walked up to me calmly, his strong towering body over me, looked down and smiled and picked me up in his arms…he carried me a short distance to small sailing canoe in the shallows. He set me inside seat 4 and handed me a steer Blade, gave a look of affirmation and walked away towards the Moon in the shallow water……

I set course and lowered my sail.

The next morning at St Joe’s hospital two things came…

Well in the night, the thunder beings visited the Pacific Northwest that night and cleared the skies. The rains and Thunder/Lightning storm in late August of 2024. Mahalo Thunder beings i give thanks and love for your medicine and teachings and cleansing. I honor your Powers of transformation.

And that morning a total course change towards healing. My white blood cell counts came down indicating the medicines were working with Time and I was improving daily…this was the news I was waiting for…it was the path to recovery and prayers answered. Imua!!!!

Uncle John is not the only one that saved my Life, but he knows he brought the thunder beings to me , my family knows he brought the healing thunders to me.

I think he would smile knowing that the seeds he plants across the World and generations work. At a time in my life ages ago I had the foresight to call in a teacher, a friend, and ultimately a Healer that i would need to calm that storm I tracked coming for me for years. The OG John Stokes, my hip pocket Shaman, just add salt water, tears, a little bit of hope and faith, and Imua!! Bam. Ya got some healing thunderers.

The Transition-

This is a journey that is day by day still. They say time heals.

Time, this time we are in. It brings me to tears.

The Underworld traveling in the hospital. I saw it all. I knew Donald Trump was going to win the masses. I heard the conversations, I traveled thru the sinister plots. I listened to the hate and saw the dead dull lifeless eyes of his followers. No spirit, no soul, complete blind spots.

I remember also in the hospital fading in and out of the democratic national convention. I recall hearing all the mindful words, words of Hope and Unity and peace. I heard Kamala’s words, a few others speaking. it was Almost as if for a brief moment the world sounded sane to me again, that this is how leaders are supposed to talk to their people. I had a brief sense of hope, this was after my good news. I’m not naive. Truths Tucked Beneath More Lies. What a bunch of bullshit. Where were these leaders the past 8 -12 years (and beyond) as our people and planet suffer globally.

I DO NOT, did not Vote. When you Vote, you give away your mana. It becomes attached to that individual, period. I choose to not give away my mana as I know who I am and I have been in Service to People, Children, Community and the Land & Sea almost my entire young & adult and professional life. Those are my sacred responsibilities- to honor my teachers and mentors by passing on knowledge to the next generation. To give back to the Earth. This is how I do my part. I do not actually believe or am fooled that one can change things with a Vote.

Actually I did Vote in a sense- I wrote in “7th Generation” for Other for President. As a metaphor for any politician that ever steps up that actually has the wisdom and intelligence to think about our future and our children’s future, I’d consider giving my mana to that vote….I have only once in my 52 years alive and able to vote.

Politicians are 2 tongues, and from what I have perceived and stood watching in my country for decades are People in Power with NO MANA. No wisdom, and certainly no one worthy of what I was taught as a young one the characteristics of a good leader. What a shameful nation we live in…No wisdom in those that lead us. And we choose them, says a lot about Us or the failed system we have allowed to be fed.

I do have opinions about what’s happening currently, it is Something Else but also nothing new…yet in my life time something of Pure Evil and manifest of the worst parts of the human condition in my opinion. I have not seen one absolute coherent intelligent reason why anyone voted Trump. What policies? None. What value to our people, None. His people do NOT care about you or your children or our Lands future. period.

I can relate ( and often agree) to people wanting a new type of Leader to break the status quo and stir shit up, rile up the perceived “deep state” blah blah blah try things in new radical ways because our US Govnt has been fumbling and corrupt…But this?! beyond comprehension…

The playbook to destroy our Country and Constitution layed all out ahead of time. Is this what you MAGA wanted?

No would ever succeed in trying to engage me in Politics, I simply don’t care. I’m an actual Patriot with a deep connection to our Land and Water and there’s no place you’d ever convince me of rational arguments of why the sociopath that is Donald Trump, the traitor to Hawai’i Tulsi, the blubbering stuttering drug addict that’s RFK, the rest of the racist greedy Billionaire trash circling around Trumps Trough- how they have any semblance of Leadership, Wisdom, Intelligence, with the best interest of our Nation and Children as priority, ever.

They care only for themselves and their own wealth.

For all you MAGA/Trump cultists, have you considered Your personal mana is now irreversibly attached to Rape, Racism, Nazis, Genocide, Destruction of the Natural World for my children, your children and children into 7 Generations. Your Mana is attached to greed, a move towards destruction of our Constitution, civil rights, women’s rights, voting rights, all human rights…

Your Mana is attached to a twice impeached criminal, a rapist, a narcissist, a tiny tiny little weak Man with no Soul or Spirit that you give energy as an actual Leader much less a President. Maybe we never had a great country, we’ve fast tracked ourselves to a fading memory.

Your mana has Spoken and it saddens me deeply. I forgive you and I have hope for you. To heal. Look beneath your feet...

Blind Spots are much like an intrusive infection, except with Blind Spots, they are silent and deadly and in time will consume your entire Being. I am saddened by the Infections you (MAGA) have allowed to attach as a Blind Spot.

I do have a beautiful dream, like I engaged my Infection, that dialogue can happen, understanding. Granted in case of a life threatening infection my goal was to present my words and expel it for good, it did not serve me…

But here on planet earth, our communities, the United States, we can’t ignore one another, there are basic things we need to have in common, things we CANNOT be divided on or we continue the destructive cycles, and learn nothing about what it means to be an evolved, mindful human that remembers our original instructions from the Creator- to live in peace and harmony with one another and all living Beings…

It is OK to be angry, to Grieve, to feel loss, it is even better to Rise Up & Rise Above.

Or we are completely lost as a Country and People with no sustainable future for Our Children. Are we so divided as People that we gamble and risk our very survival? Do you feel any sacred responsibility to your community? To only those that think only like you (or look like you), or are you an advocate for all human life….?

I went into Community this past weekend for pretty much the first time since last summer.

I revisited the work of Joanna Macy at a Grief workshop on Orcas Island…

It was huge for me as I have been a mostly internal person lately. It felt good and right, I met wonderful Elders and people. I shared just enough. I haven’t really been ready to share with others so much yet…the workshop gave me some feels but nothing overwhelming….

A class participant hitched a ride home with me on my way to Ferry. As I drove into his driveway a surge thru my heart, and tears just flowed…

Is this Nancy’s house?! I said.

Yes, I’m her Son.

Nancy Koenig of Orcas Island, Midwife/land steward/Marimba Player & Guru…our Souls connected immediately when we met..

She would send me pictures of her pregnant daughter who she was so proud of and would deliver her grandchild. She would babysit our boys, they adored her, when we would make trips to Orcas Island.

I led a canoe voyage for Spring Street International School one year and i introduced the students to deeper parts of paddling tradition (rhythm:timing , breath, One Mind etc etc ) by having Nancy teach the kids in her amazing studio of Marimbas. It was magical.

Our time together and new found friendship was cut short by her Cancer. We had so many plans on collaborating for the youth.

Davis her Son filled in the blanks of her last days and we walked the land together where I’d spend time with his Mother.

But that moment as I drove her Son into driveway and my tears of happiness and affection and remembrance flowing I remembered another important directive from the Creator. To hear the call. Put that foot forward and don’t resist….I almost talked myself out of going to the workshop. I remembered the power of action when you hear and follow the calling.

To go out and seek one another. We are all interconnected, even if just briefly.

Magic is woven throughout the fabric of the Land & every drop of Water flowing around Us. This is how we connect, this is how we heal. This is how we navigate…

Teach our Children to unplug, put their hearts and spirits to the dirt and water, and hear the Call. There is magic waiting just under surface of the Earths beating heart. Breathe it in. Drink it.

Aloha pumehana.